Apr 30, 2003

...In a New Jersey Springtime

I told myself: Gina will not have the life I've always dreamt of

"I say we call all these people we know' because man, all these people,
they just come and go... and
go.....and go,

like shadows dancing on the wall-swaying back and forth in the light of tonight, tonight (and we can make it right tonight) and in the morning, they're gone

and dreaming of Kerouac, Kesey, Ferlinghetti and Ginsberg; I could just live in a New Jersey spring time forever.....
at least for now....

until
Mexico!
New York City!
Cross Country!
South of the Border!

.....the USA is such a broad and complex question of identity
I have a love hate relationship with the land between these borders
and only love for its neighboring vecinos

I want to move my heart south of here
to the sandy shores of Mexico
where freedom rests its lazy head on the surf-beaten rocks
and you make love to the ocean from your long board

the love of my life stands in front of me, figuring
how much he owes to the figures
of my past (and I listen, painting the scene onto this canvas)

"or we keep some...
and just pay tomorrow," he says

(because paying tomorrow for the sins of today always seems the easiest solution)
but that never works.

Oh to be a beatnik's whore!
......just a fly on the wall of literary amazement

and I always think this part of it all is over....all these temptations and horrors
but it just feels so good
and surrendering to you
is so easy
once I get started.